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Senior Boys Toss Around Jokes and Fried Chicken at Mr. CAHS 2017

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From throwing glitter out of fanny packs to eating fried chicken and reading poetry, Mr. CAHS was full of surprises.

“I figured the objective of Mr. CAHS was just to watch a bunch of unprepared senior boys trying to do ridiculous things on the stage,” senior Trevor Clark said. Clark had the honor of playing Mr. Ron Swanson at the annual Mr. CAHS competition — a mock pageant for senior boys —  and was crowned Mr. CAHS 2017.

Each contestant performed a talent act, modeled swimwear and showcased their best evening wear. Ranked from lowest to highest, the top five contestants were,: Mr. Almost Vegan (Micah Summers), Mr. Steve Urkel (Seth Wolfe), Mr. Coma (Alex Redd), Mr. Principal (Caleb Moen) and of course, Mr. Ron Swanson, now the new Mr. CAHS.

Although Mr. Homeschooler (Gabriel Cavalle) did not place, he was presented with the Caiman award. “I thought I would get top five, because I was homeschooled as a kid, like all my life, and I think it relates to half the school,” Cavalle said.

Micah Summers performed more for his own pleasure than for the student body’s enjoyment. “Mr. Almost Vegan was the beautiful amalgamation of the various desires I had for the school. The first one was to express my anger at vegans, and then the second one was to play death metal at school,” Summers said. “I combined those two, and I became the carnivorous entity that was Mr. Almost Vegan,” he said.

Summers’ talent act involved reading a poem he wrote on animal cruelty while Mr. Ron Swanson tempted him with fried chicken. “I had the idea of death metal playing and me eating [from] the KFC bucket, but, as far as me reading a poem … I was thinking,  ‘What would a vegan do to protest animal cruelty? They would probably write a poem,’” Summers said.  “So I wrote a really terrible poem, and then I ate a bunch of cold chicken.”

Inspiration for Clark’s persona’s came from his favorite character, Ron Swanson, from the TV show, “Parks and Recreation.” Along with Clark’s performance with Mr. Almost Vegan, his favorite part of the evening was getting changed backstage. “[Being backstage] was just hanging out with the other guys who were there, and we were all freaking out trying to put on our swimwear. It was hilarious,” Clark said.

For his talent, Clark instructed the audience on how to do woodworking. “The time that I … was planeing the piece of wood and I was cutting it; I didn’t have time to rehearse that at all. That was 100 percent improvisation. I was basically just running off of other people laughing and the audience,” he said.

All in all, Mr. CAHS was a night full of pure fun and laughter. “It felt nice to say really stupid words and have the audience laugh at them,” Mr. Almost Vegan said. “It was exhilarating, exciting and I think it will be memorable.”

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Senior Boys Toss Around Jokes and Fried Chicken at Mr. CAHS 2017